Moments of Impact

I have a feeling this is going to be my new motto for a long long time :)

Why? Because...of this movie:

Alright, alright. I'm not one for stupid, silly posts. But seriously, this movie didn't just appeal to the silly little romantic in me....

Okay, that's all it did. But it used the silly little romantic to teach me a few lessons worth learning. And it helped me gain a little perspective on what I really want.

I want a love like that. I know they aren't perfect! They aren't. But they loved so fierce. Here's an example:

"I vow to help you love life, to always hold you with tenderness and to have the patience that love demands, to speak when words are needed and to share the silence when they're not. To agree to disagree about red velvet cake--To live within the warmth of your heart and always call it home."

"I vow to fiercely love you, in all your forms, now and forever. I promise never to forget that this is a once in a lifetime love. I vow to love you, and no matter what challenges might carry us apart, we will always find a way back to each other."

Beyond simply feeling giddy because of those words....my heart was struck by them, deeply. I want a love like that. I want someone to love me like that. Someone who loves me for who I am, not who he wants me to be.

But along with this realization and this intense want, came a deeper understanding of my life as well.

Leo says this at the beginning of the movie:

"Life is all about moments of impact and how they change our lives together. My theory is that these moments of impact, that these flashes of reality that turn us upside down change us. But what if one day you could no longer remember any of them? The truth is, we are the sum of all the moments we've experienced with all the people we've ever known....and these moments become our history.

So that's my theory. That these moments of impact define who we are."

The thing is....whether we are able to measure them or not, our lives are made up of these moments, these people, these memories. And one small decision can be a moment of impact--can lead us down the path to find something that we need, that we want, that will make us happy. These are the moments that we will remember most, that we will cherish above all others.

Another lesson is that...maybe knowing everything isn't the right thing. It's like getting the chance to re-read your favorite book again, but without any memory of having read it before. Would you do it?

I would.

And that's the thing. Someone once asked me what I'd wish for if I could wish anything and get it. My very first thought was: "I'd wish to know. To know who it was I was going to vow to be with forever. To know just where to search." But then I thought...."No. I wouldn't want to know."

I explained that it was because....knowing would ruin the suspense--the joy of the realization that you love this person so much, that you love them just as desperately as if you had no time together, but that you have forever together. 

That sometimes Heavenly Father shows us the path. Sometimes he makes the way to go very clear. But other times, he simply turns off the light and nudges us to take small steps into the darkness to find our own way.

And there it was. A moment of impact. Of realization. Of spiraling my life into a different direction than I'd ever expected it. 

And though I may not have been in a car crash that erased all my memory of these moments of impact, I don't know a lot of things about my life--I still have many major moments of impact to live. And I'm going to live them fearlessly, because...

I am the sum of every moment I've ever experienced with all the people I've ever known, and each moment will continue to shape me.

Wow. Who'd have thought that a silly movie based on a true story could have taught me so many things.

She (For Liz)

My vocal chords have been fighting

My mouth likes to spite me

It never says the words that come to mind

I brought a stick to a gunfight 

And I'm stuck with my tongue tied.

I run but I can't hide what's always there.

She

--she is the words that I can't find

How can the only thing that's killing me

Make me feel so alive?

and I couldn't speak

I couldn't breathe to save my life!

All of my chances swim like sinking ships

This time it's it--

I'll drown or make her mine.

I don't know what it is about this song...but I love it. Ever since the concert Monday...I cannot get this song out of my head! 

It's seriously.....probably my favorite right now.

"Laughing that the one thing I can't get is what I need!"