Everything Changes

For some odd reason, I've decided to, come this Fall semester, throw myself back into the world of Freshman after spending a wonderful summer basking in the oh-so-exotic world that is Off-Campus Housing.

It's really beautiful. Full of crazy adventures and endless noises. Full of experiences like this:

Of drawing on fruit and blowing bubbles off the balcony--eating breakfast at the pool and forgetting to wear shoes everywhere. Walking a million miles to do a load of laundry, never sleeping, studying, or having a moment alone. It's beautiful :)

So then why am I giving this up? Why would I inflict this unpleasant change on myself?

The answer is very, very simple:

Because it's right. Because this is a change that God wanted for me.

So along with this Resident's Assistant business, there comes homework. Yes, a job that I get to do homework for! All I can say is that I hope my little freshman girls appreciate what I do for them. And that I know they really won't.

This homework assignment was about communication and change. You see, up until you leave your home and live on your own for the very first time, you really know nothing about change (with a few exceptions). You really can't understand what it is to have your life flip upside down and inside out and 180 degrees around in four different directions.

It's quite disconcerting, and it's a little hard to deal with at first. I remember being a brand-new freshman (yeah, yeah, it wasn't that long ago, I get it) and wondering how in the heck I was gonna deal with the change in my life. My job as an RA is going to be to take what I wish someone had told me and be sure to tell my girls those things.

The thing that I wish I had known (and not just known in the same way that I know that grass is green and sometimes brown--the kind of knowing where it touches every part of your life and changes the way that you live) is that change is always around us. It's always happening. Sometimes it's disgusting and frightening, sometimes deliciously exciting.  But it always is.

It always is.

We can't change that, unfortunately. But what we can change is our attitude towards change--our desire for change. The beliefs we hold about change.

(Seriously--most of what I'm saying is coming from this talk right here! It was part of the chapter I had to read before doing my homework, and I'm not actually sure that there exist better ways to say the things that she's said in her talk.)

Wendy Watson says "I have come to believe that therapeutic change occurs as the
belief that is at the heart of the matter is identified, challenged, or solidified." And I believe she is 100% right. She gives countless examples too, just in case you're not believing her claim. She argues that the most erroneous belief is the one that says that there is only one correct belief and that it is the one you support.

One of the most important qualities to possess in this world is an open mind, and a willingness to accept the fact that others may never see things the way you do. You can't make everyone see the world the way that you do, and even if you try, you're going to fail. I'm sorry. It just is.

So what can you do?

Just accept them. Agree to disagree. Love without needing 100% compatability and agreement. It's never going to happen.

If we do this, then the ability to change our lives in ways that will be incredibly beneficial to us develops.

This is something that I've had to learn--knowledge that's come even as I'm bracing both hands against the doorframe in the way that a four year old refuses to be taken into his room for punishment. I'm learning that I need to be able to change the way that I think of myself, the way that I treat myself, the way that I think, even, in order to be able to make the changes in my life necessary for happiness.

I've had to become brave at times when it was harder than I've ever imagined anything being in my entire life.  I've had to let things go that have defined me for far too much of my life--very comfortable things. I've had to look at people I honestly will never understand and love them anyway, work with them, swallow their ideas and dealings.

But those things couldn't happen without my willingness to allow them to happen. Without me understanding that I couldn't move onto better ways of living without shedding old beliefs and putting new ones on.

So think with me for a moment:

What kind of life could you be living if you allowed yourself to change your thoughts? What sorts of splendid things could you be accomplishing if only you would move past those things that are holding you back? And what kinds of changes could you be allowing if you would only open yourself up to seeing new things?

These are things I have to ask myself every day. I'm learning. I'm not perfect. I just am.

After all, in order to become a butterfly, "you must want to fly so badly that you are willing to give up being a caterpillar."

[side note: how is it possible to have 22 page views on a single post without any comments? The point of the internet is to be able to share ideas and learn from each other. I can't do that if I'm sitting in a fishbowl watching people look at me. Please--talk to me!]