The Sweetest Thing

Click on the link on the video thing that lets you watch it directly on YouTube. I cannot tell you how worth your time this video will be--9 minutes of your life that you couldn't spend better. 

This man wrote a song for his wife of 75 years who had just passed away a month before. That's all I'll say before you watch it. Serious. Watch it! You clicked the link, you obviously have nothing seriously better to do. Just watch it.

This is the sweetest thing I have ever seen. EVER. I cried so hard watching it, especially when he puts the headphones on and the song starts. I didn't think that the song would be good because there's hardly ever any instances where you can transfer something successfully from imagination--someone's soul--to reality. But Fred's face when the guitars start and when the song ends...it's just fantastic.

But the Green Shoes Studio did! And maybe it's not my place to say that--the song was not in MY soul, after all. That being said, I think that they did it in a way that Fred could enjoy it as well as the other people who listen to it. It was lovely and beautiful! You don't hear music like this very often. The vocals are soft and very emotive, almost like Fred is singing it himself. The chord progressions are perfect. It's the kind of music quietly invites the Spirit to be around. And the lyrics! Fred always refers to her as "Sweet Lorraine". It's so heartfelt. I love how simply he states his feelings:

"I wish we could do 

all the good times 

over again"

But while the music and lyrics were lovely, it was not just those things that made me cry. It was the stark look at myself and my life and what I have to be grateful for that made me cry. He says something that is sad to me:

                                        "Life only goes around once

and never again."

I just...I wish that I could share the knowledge that I have with Fred. He thinks that the happiness that he and Lorraine have shared together is over, but what he doesn't know is that death is most definitely not the end of their happiness. Someday they will be reunited and they will be happy together again!

I can only imagine Fred's face as he passes through the veil of death and sees Lorraine's sweet, smiling face as she greets him with a loving embrace. I wish that someone would tell Fred that it's not over! He doesn't have to move on! His life with Lorraine has just begun! There is a way that they can be together forever. Fred doesn't have to spend the rest of his life simply remembering all the good times they had.

It got me thinking. Let me tell you a little about my day today:

It was the second day of school for me at BYU. I don't know what possessed me to fill my schedule up like I did, but I am taking 16 credits and working two jobs. I have spent the last two days running around campus like a madwoman--scaring all the freshmen, I'm sure--and to top it all off, I have a cold and feel very under-the-weather. I got very frustrated and discouraged today. I said and did things in my frustration that I'm not very proud of. I have not been a very good wife today. Or yesterday.

And in the little self-pity pit full of homework and anger I had dug for myself, I found this video. I was filled with a mixture of deep sorrow and self-hatred. Fred just said goodbye to his spouse, thinking that he's lost her forever, and I am failing to treat mine as I know I should, knowing that I get to keep him forever. How can I, with the immense knowledge I am blessed with (this is ETERNAL LIFE guys!), fail to appropriately show gratitude for and to the greatest blessing that God has ever seen fit to bestow upon me? Not only has God given me such a wonderful man to share this life with, he has even allowed me, despite my vastly imperfect state, to spend the rest of eternity with him as well.

How could I ever allow such a trivial thing to dictate my behavior in such a way?

It is true, I do want to act out in my frustration. I do. It's a release.
But what do I want MOST?

More than anything, I want to raise a family with my beloved husband. 

I want to enjoy a life as happy as Fred and Lorraine's, and when it ends, I want to pick it back up when we are reunited in the presence of God. 

I want to look into his eyes and know that he understands how dear to me he is.

I want him to feel supported and strong and happy. 

I want him to know I am fighting through this life to spend forever with him. 

Thank you, Fred. For helping me to look at myself and appreciate what I have. The next time I feel frustrated or upset or tempted to lash out and undervalue the goodness in my life, I'll remember you and Lorraine, and hopefully I will choose to act in a way that will honor the great gifts that God has given me.