What is Meaningful to You?

It's been almost two months since I've written anything! I'm definitely feeling it. Some days I feel so creatively frustrated. Writing is what makes me feel alive, what makes me FEEL. School can get so stressful and crazy, and I feel like I don't have time to do things for myself. But I've realized that I need to make time, and so, in what is perhaps the busiest few weeks of my life, I am making time. Why?

Let me tell you.

I've been taking an "Intro to Film" class this semester, and I will be honest, I took it because I thought "watching movies in class will be awesome!" And it has been awesome! I just never expected to get much out of it. However, through the last four months, I've had my eyes opened to the wonder and beauty that is film. There is not a single part of a movie that is not carefully thought over. Sometimes those carefully thought over elements are bad--but that doesn't change the fact that whoever made that choice made it for a reason: to strengthen the message of that movie. As I've learned about all the different ways that a filmmaker can put meaning into a film and watched countless movies that I would never have watched at my own choosing, I've felt things that I didn't know that I could. Sometimes I walk out of class in tears, and it's embarrassing. Sometimes I have to spend a few minutes by myself thinking before I can bear to be with people again.

Yesterday was my last day in class. To close up the semester, my TA decided to show us all the reasons that she loves film. She showed us the moments that made her want to be a filmmaker, and the moments that made her realize what she believes in. At the beginning of class she asked a question.

What is meaningful to you?

And then she showed us what was meaningful to her. Surprisingly, everything she showed was meaningful to me simply because it was meaningful to her. I suppose emotion is probably a little bit like a testimony. You have to share it to help it grow, and you have to share it to keep it with you.

So this is mine. This is what is meaningful to me. I won't post it all at once, because that would be overwhelming, but over the next week or so, I'm going to take the time to post every day about what I find meaningful. 

DAY ONE:

It would be a shame if I did not start with my childhood. Harry Potter has been a part of my life for almost as long as I can remember. When I was in third grade, I picked up the very first book for the first time, and the love was instant. It was also in third grade that my parents separated and divorced. No one's life is ever easy, and I know mine could have been a lot worse, but I struggled very hard in that year and the years that followed. I still struggle sometimes with what happened. That year in school, I had no friends. Who wants to be friends with the girl who sometimes cries for no reason, and can't look at anything but her shoes? So instead of my classmates, Harry, Ron, and Hermione became my friends. Through them, I was able to escape into a world where magic was real, and where great and courageous people changed the course of history. It was fantastic! I loved it. I think it was initially the hardship in my life that bonded me so deeply to this book, and these characters, but throughout the years I have maintained a deep love and reverence for all things Harry Potter.

"Of course it is happening inside your head, Harry, but why on earth should that mean that it is not real?"

Dumbledore

Most people don't remember this quote from the Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, but it is perhaps my very favorite quote of all the books. Why? Because sometimes when life gets hard and I feel like my heart might shatter, I have a tendency to feel silly and ridiculous. But why should I? This quote to me justifies what we think and feel and dream. No one should ever feel ridiculous because something made them cry or something made them happy or frustrated. In Psychology, a lot of voices have arisen and said that if you can't observe something, it isn't real--which includes your thoughts and feelings. They can't be quantified, so why would they be real? But Dumbledore taught me that they are. What happens in your head is real and meaningful to you, so why should it not count? We are all composed of light and dark, but that doesn't mean that we can dismiss the dark parts and only accept the light. All of us, good or bad, is what makes us up. Because of this quote, I have the courage to accept myself and my feelings and thoughts, no matter what. 

I also always wanted to meet Dumbledore because I have always held a deep respect for what he did for Harry. If Harry Potter were written by CS Lewis, Dumbledore would have been the symbolic character represented Heavenly Father, and Harry would have been Christ. It is amazing for me to see the love that Dumbledore holds for Harry and the care that he took to prepare Harry in every way to be able to defeat the task ahead of him--his face-off with Voldemort (who would be the Satan figure in Lewis' book). Even though the things that he asked Harry to do were seemingly impossible, at every turn he offered mostly unseen assistance (Snape, dare I say it, would be the Spirit--haha) to Harry, always ensuring that he could muster the strength to do what was required of him til the very end. 

Is there any literary character, quote or story that is especially meaningful to you? Feel free to comment and share.