The One Where Rachel Decides That Everything is Going to be Okay

Being home is a semi-glorious thing.

In the semi-edited words of a friend....it's semi-glorious in the same way ice semi-melts in boiling water.

In other words...it's completely and totally glorious.

There are things and people I miss from college. I know this is definitely a point in my life where I'm stepping off of a platform that I've become quite comfortable on....things are changing so fast and so completely, and up until this point I've found myself being dragged forward by the arm, stumbling along backwards like a sad rag doll...and I haven't had time to turn myself around and actually step forward with the changes.

But no more!

I hope to use this sojourn home to fill myself up with familial love, sort myself out, and return back to college face-forward, ready to run with my life, because let's face it, sometimes in life, that decision to turn forward and run instead of dragging behind is the only decision you get to make!

"Time is tricky. You have whole months, even years, when nothing changes a speck, when you don't go anywhere or do anything or think one new thought. And then you can get hit with a day or an hour, or half a second, when so much happens, it's almost like you are born all over again into some brand-new person you for dang sure never expected to meet."

--E.R. Frank

I think one of these days I'm going to look in the mirror and jump at least a half a dozen miles. God is good. God is sneaky. God is all-knowing. God knows exactly what will make me happiest, exactly what will "balance my chi" and what types of things will absolutely confirm everything good and right in the world to me.

God knows when it's time for a change.

And since I really had no purpose in this post except to set right the things I'd messed up on my last post, I'll simply conclude with a list of truths I've learned in the last ten days or so...

1. It is never too late for a spoonful of homemade fudge and a glass of milk.
2. There's never a bad time to have a Justin Bieber dance party. Except maybe when your RA is walking through to her apartment....
3. A worthy priesthood holder is always ready to give the counsel you need from the Lord. Whether through a blessing or hug or handshake or conversation, the Lord works through those who work with him. Even when they are scared or unsure.
4. The lights on Temple Square? I thought they were the most beautiful things I've ever seen in my life. Not so--there are a whole number of things more beautiful than they are. Among many others, soft smiles, marbles in cold water, teary eyes, stars close to midnight, stairs in inconvenient places, grey skies in the early morning, rain on flushed faces, whispered names and words and promises kept.
5. Sisters are God's greatest creations. Giggles and "Your Team" and shared books and linked arms and snuggling in the mornings. What else could I ask for?
6. My parents. Are the greatest.
7. Everyone should leave home and have an adventure.
8. You are....you! There is no one who can ever change that, and there is no one who ever should. Everyone has faults. But you must love yourself before loving anyone else.
9. A boy should ask permission to kiss you. Not because he can't work up the courage to do it any other way, but because he realizes that it's just too important a thing to do without permission. Because he realizes that it's a gift that you must offer him--not something he should ever just take.
10. God is a sneaky, sneaky fellow.

One last thought, and a sort-of experiment. (If you click on "experiment" in that last sentence....it takes you somewhere really cool! This is what's been on my mind the last couple of days...)

Rachel.